Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Saying goodbye is so not easy.

Today, I learned that on August 19th, another DTP sister, Jules McLaren, passed away.

It was hard to hear, as all deaths are...but it is awareness week for heaven's sake. I guess this is another sign that this disease is lacking awareness incredibly even more...but when are the doctors going to listen?? When are they going to realize the seriousness of these diseases?? People drop like flies from this disease and it's complications yet it is clear that the people who are supposed to take this the most seriously are not visible...they seem to be hiding and ignoring this awful beginning plight..dear Lord I don't know if I could take another DTP sister leaving this Earth too soon...we all want to see Jesus but I wish that we could all see Jesus through other means and not from sickness to our, old age or something.

I'm sorry. I'm just venting, I guess...I suppose my heart is still sensitive from May, when I learned of the death of my friend Roxanne. Forgive me, our friend Roxanne...all my DTP family. She was such a sweetheart, never thought of herself before anyone else. Always looking to help, in any way possible. Although I did not talk to Jules very much I just know that she struggled with her health, as we all do. God forbid, if we lose another one, I'm not quite sure how I'd be able to handle it...

Jules McLaren, although we did not talk much, you are currently the sunshine to my life. If you were a solemn believer in God and accepted Jesus as your savior, then I am certain you are dancing around in your new body, free of the disease from hell and eating and drinking more than you have in a long well as being happier than you've ever been in your life. I really hope you're there. I really, really, really hope so. You deserve it. You were so sweet when we talked, you seemed like you were a good friend. If you're eating chocolate cake up there, eat a piece for me...probably the fluffiest, most delicious cake not on Earth!! Oh, and you so deserve it (again). I kind of wish I could have been able to say goodbye...but it is what it is.

Please guys. Please. That's all I'm asking you....count your blessings. So many people die of gastroparesis and intestinal pseudo-obstruction. DTP is NOT a friendly disease. It is always out to get you. Every day, I have to constantly stare at this central line lodged in my chest that I desperately need for TPN. It could catch infection no matter how much I baby it. I'm blessed nothing has happened to me with this line, but it's always a risk. These diseases don't come with off buttons or chillax buttons. No, they're always there and they always rob you of stupid things you take for granted. I just want more awareness is all. I want people to know this exists, mostly doctors because they're the ones supposed to be taking care of us and these life threatening complications occur a lot just from lack of knowledge in our physicians!!

I think it's safe to say that although hate is a strong word, it's just not strong enough to describe how I feel about gastroparesis and pseudo-obstruction...AKA the diseases from H E L L. Rest in peace, dear Jules. Love you.

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